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WARNING: If you drink fancy liquor and are extremely particular about your drinking, I’d skip out on this post… Still reading? You’re in for some actionable tips to cut your alcohol expenditure WAY down.
For those who don’t know me, I’m 22 years old. During college, I liked to drink, party, and have fun. Simultaneously, I aimed to reduce my discretionary spending.
So, as an avid pursuer of financial independence, I employed “advanced” cost-saving techniques.
Some of these strategies may seem strange or cheap, but they’re tried and true methods to minimize the cost of liquor.
Falsify Your Fanciness
Nobody wants to look like they’re drinking cheap alcohol, including me. That’s why you need to employ this tactic. This strategy is a simple, one-step to falsifying your fanciness.
Step 1: Pour a cheap bottle of liquor into an expensive bottle.
Step 2: Drink, enjoy, and look fancy!
“But Cody, cheap alcohol tastes disgusting!”
I thought you might say that. That’s why I’m going to share this next strategy with you.
Believe it or not, a Brita Filter performs a sort of distillation process (Hint: It doesn’t just work for water). Lucky for us, this means that it can make cheap liquor taste like less-cheap liquor! Trust me, I’ve tried it.
This distillment strategy works with nearly every type of liquor. I’ve done vodka, gin, tequila, rum, whiskey, and even moonshine. There’s a noticeable difference in taste after a run through the Brita.
If you really don’t believe me, just try it!
Now when you’re Falsifying Your Fanciness, your cheap liquor can taste better too. If you’re sharing or giving out drinks, nobody will even be able to tell the difference!
“It’s Just Water”
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book. One of my personal favorites for sure.
Step 1: Fill a water bottle with your clear liquor of choice (vodka, gin, white rum, etc.). You can use a clear mixer (soda water, tonic, seltzer) if you don’t want full strength.
Step 2: Hide the water bottle upon entry to the venue.
- Best places for guys are jacket pockets or shoved down the front of pants.
- Best places for girls are purses or jacket pockets.
Step 3: Order an ice water and drink the water out of it. Pour your prepared drink into the glass and enjoy! If you don’t have access to ice water you’ll just have to suck it up and drink your concoction at room temperature.
The Secret Recipe
This was my go-to drink during my college years… so I guess I’ll spill the secret recipe.
Crystal Light + Water + Vodka.
Guess why I liked it so much? It’s cheap! Let’s check out the cost breakdown.
Crystal Light Packets (44 Pack) = $7.99
Water = Free
Rubinoff Vodka = $12.99 per handle
If that’s not a frugal concoction, then I don’t know what is.
Most of you reading this probably think I’m absolutely crazy… and that’s okay! You don’t have to employ any of the strategies mentioned. But for those liquor lovers looking to save money, these advanced techniques are powerful.
Before we wrap up, I have to credit my friend Tyler for inspiring this post. He is also a veteran strategist when it comes to liquor frugality. I figured it would be selfish to hoard all of this top-secret information.
I seriously saved thousands of dollars over the past few years using these tried and true methods and you can too! There’s always room for improvement though. If you have any crazy strategies you use to save money on liquor, please share in the comments!
THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT CONDONE THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL. THESE STRATEGIES ARE MERELY OPINIONS AND SUGGESTIONS FROM THE AUTHOR. THANK YOU!
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